Destination weddings are very popular. In fact, in some ways, etiquette rules have not yet caught up to the destination theme at all! Yet, when it comes to this type of wedding style, you really do have a lot to think about before you go off to get married.
Destination weddings are weddings in which you will travel to a location other than any place near to you, to be married. These weddings are common in resorts and other fabulous places. Yet, although they are so popular, that does not mean that they are the best choice for everyone, especially those with a large family that is expecting a large celebration of the wedding.
While the ultimate decision about a destination wedding is all up to you, it is common practice to insure that the wedding satisfies everyone’s needs. Here are some basic tips that we will expand on later.
Do not expect the world to follow you to your destination wedding. Not many of your guests will be able to afford it, find travel arrangements or get off of work to go. So, expect for some not to be able to come with you for your wedding.
Send out invitations and ‘hold the date’ cards to your guest well in advance. Several months should be given if you except them to come so that they can get the proper travel arrangements made including the necessary legal documents if it is out of the country.
Do something for those that can not make it to your wedding but are close enough to you that want to celebrate your wedding with you at home. For example, you can have your wedding ceremony in Hawaii, but have a reception back at home too for those that could not make it.
There are several things that come into play when it comes to a destination wedding ceremony. The first is the cost. Unlike a traditional wedding ceremony, it is not going to fly for the parents to pay for this type of wedding celebration, especially when most are counting on that big wedding to celebrate your marriage.
So, if you plan to have a destination wedding, plan to sit down and talk to those that will be paying for it. There are many additional costs folded into the wedding itself here.
One benefit to the wedding destination is that most will take care of all of the planning for your wedding for you. They can help you to make arrangements for the ceremony, lodging, foods, and even for legal requirements. This does lessen the amount of planning that you will be required to do, but it may also limit you to what you can do yourself. Depending on the level of comfort you have in giving someone else the ability to handle your wedding, should be a consideration here.
Once you figure out money, determine who is coming.
You will want to invite many people to your wedding ceremony, but you may be limited to those that you can pay to come. Now, not everyone you invite is someone that you are going to have to pay for, but some you may.
Be quite frank with those that you invite about what you are covering in costs and what they will have to. Realize that some may not be able to make it and that should be okay with you. Do not pressure those that have financial or employment strains to come to your destination wedding unless you plan to pay for them to do so.
You should pay for the lodging of your wedding party though. The people that are sponsoring the wedding need to pay for the lodging and the needs of the bridesmaids and the groomsmen. Insure that this is factored into the cost of the wedding itself.
If you will have more guests coming for your destination wedding, make sure that you do everything you can to help them to get the lowest rates. For example, you may be able to arrange group rates or book a block of rooms for them to stay in. While they may be paying for it, this can be more encouragement to those that have not visited the area to come down.
Another thing that is necessary for the host of the destination to do is to help the guests to know what to wear when they get there. There are two things to consider here. First, the attire for the wedding may be different at a destination wedding. If so, it may be necessary to determine what the right attire is and then insure that the wedding party and the guests know what that attire should be.
If they have not traveled to the location before, it is necessary for you to give them help with knowing what the right type of clothing to bring and wear is. This should include clothing for time spent not with the wedding party as well. You should allow your guests to know what the theme, informal or formal, of the wedding ceremony will be. Any other gatherings that happen should also be considered and communicated as well.
Another factor to consider about the destination wedding is what should be done during it.
If you will be inviting guests to your destination wedding, make sure you provide enough for them to do when they are there.
The wedding ceremony is only the start of what you should do. You should have a welcoming dinner or cocktail where you will inform the guests, once they arrive what the agenda is. Even if it is limited by just the ceremony and a small reception, this information should be presented to the guests even before they arrive.
Some will want to spend the entire time with you while others will be more responsive to heading out to explore the area on their own. Make sure that as the bride and groom and the parents of them sponsoring the wedding that you cater to their needs here.
It is customary for some meals to be spent with various guests that come to the wedding. Often, these can include dinner each night or it may just be a get together on the beach. Whatever it is, make sure guests are aware of what your plans are for the time that they spend with you.
No matter if three people come or if 103 people come to your destination wedding, there are likely to be those that did not come to it but still would like to celebrate with you. A reception is appropriate and should be given to the bride and groom.
It is acceptable for the bride and the groom to host their own reception following their destination wedding. It is also acceptable for the parents of the bride or the groom, or both to host it. It serves the same purpose as the reception of a standard wedding reception would. The same etiquette settings apply here.
Most commonly, the reception following a destination wedding is somewhat informal. For that reason, it is often important to convey to the guests that are being invited just how formal it will be. Make sure guests know if your wedding reception will be in the backyard or if it will be a formal affair. While either is appropriate, it is necessary to insure that the guests know what is right to wear and to give.
You should not register for a wedding registry for gifts. You should not imply that you want or expect gifts at your wedding reception either. While most guests will bring a card, they may not give a large number of gifts for informal celebrations.
The reception should include anyone that you would like to share your wedding celebration with. It is necessary to insure that guests do not feel slighted if they were not invited to the wedding by allowing them to come to the reception.
Anyone that may not feel comfortable with you having a destination wedding should be talked to, one on one about it. Provide them with information about why you want to have this style of wedding, how it will work and encourage them to come. Insure them that they can come and join you and that you will have a reception to celebrate when you come back as well.
If you are having a destination wedding, one of the most commonly wondered things is if you should have a wedding shower or not. It is not a guarantee that you will have one, since guests should be invited to a wedding shower only if they are invited to the wedding itself.
Yet, if there will be a reception for the wedding when you get back, it may be acceptable. Also, it is necessary for you to insure that you do not have your own wedding shower, or anyone that is paying for your destination wedding. It should be a friend or the maid of honor that hosts your wedding shower.
It is appropriate to have a gift registry for your wedding shower. You should follow the same etiquette guidelines here as you did for a standard wedding shower.
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